Is the grass greener????????

On the other side that is. Life truly does have its ups and its downs. But sometimes the ups feel real high and the lows feel below ground. I have made many decisions that I regret and yet many decisions that I regret I didn't make as well. It's hard. Marriage. Motherhood. Sisterhood. Life. So many times I feel like a single parent. So many times I feel like NO ONE understands. So many times I feel like giving up, yes even on life itself. Ever wonder if the grass is greener? On the other side? On your side? Is the grass really green to begin with? Yes I know I am not going to get the perfect life. A perfect life is not what I am looking for. Although some would beg to differ. I work hard. Real hard. And sometimes the ones that you wish would see, don't. And the ones  you are not thinking about, do see. Is that the way life is suppose to be? It seems so....unbalanced. I do understand that happiness is temporary and that JOY is everlasting, in Jesus that is. But sometimes I feel like I'm a million miles away from my Father. The only one who can truly soothe away my hurt, my frustration and my pain. I know that God is my only source of strength. My only source of JOY. My only source of provision. So if I know this, why do I still turn and depend on people? I guess it's just my human nature. So in conclusion, I guess the grass is only green when I keep up with caring for it. It withers when I leave it alone. And I guess, there is really no grass on the other side either. Who knows........